Issue date: 11/14/06 Section: Opinion

Now, in college, we find ourselves unable to openly negotiate our sexuality. Ill-equipped to communicate our sexual desires and intentions to others, we resort to romanticized and ultimately dehumanizing notions of sexual interaction. Our sexual education has been filled with poorly-taught lessons that missed the primary target: how to be a healthy, self-actualized, sexual being. Even now, public discussions of sexuality are limited to sexual assault, STDs and birth control under the presumption that the listeners are heterosexual. We arm ourselves with condoms and Plan B and bravely march to the battlefields. Subsequently, we hurt one another due to our inability to communicate our desires and our intentions. The condoms and Plan B cannot guarantee that our sexual interactions will not be emotionally and mentally damaging.

The battle we face is between us and disease, unwanted pregnancy and rape. But we must also confront the struggle of coming together and mutually respecting and appreciating our full capacities as sexual beings. Whether you are having sex with a stranger in a bathroom or having sex with someone you love, every sexual encounter requires the willingness to openly communicate and negotiate desires and actions. Only by reclaiming language and teaching ourselves to communicate can we fully develop our sexual consciousness. We can lose the fear that we will ruin "the moment" and instead begin to work at having moments worth remembering.

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