Summer lovin': Keeping your campus romance alive during break
By: Kevin Milne
Issue date: 4/29/08 Section: Features
As this is my last column before the end of the year, I have decided not to answer a specific question, but instead provide advice in terms of maintaining relationships over the summer. To that end, I have a number of tips for those of you wishing to continue their relationship during the hot summer months.
1. Don't unnecessarily stretch it out. I've already covered this specific topic regarding long distance relationships, and summer dating is similar. If things really and truly aren't working, then at some point, resignation is needed. You can always get back together during the school year, but that tends to be harder if the break-up was stressful. Sometimes ending it is the best.
2. Keep in touch! If you can't have physical intimacy, at least you are able to talk over the phone. AIM and Facebook can provide similar means of communicating with each other, but nothing can replace the sound of your partner's voice and help bring you two closer than a phone call. While sometimes Facebook and AIM may be more convenient, it's usually worth the extra effort to make sure that you two talk on the phone at least semi-regularly over the summer. That being said, don't make it such a habit that either of you consider it a chore rather than something fun. It can also be fun to send each other gifts or care packages, even simple things can restore romance and help you both remember why you got together in the first place.
3. Respect each other's privacy. Summer can be a barrier to relationships, certainly, but it can also be a good time to get some space and perspective away from each other. Trying to talk to your partner all of the time isn't giving them the space they need when they have been away from home for a while. They may be seeing old friends, possibly exes, and having a good time with them. That doesn't take anything away from what you have; it just means you should be enjoying yourself with your old friends, too. Getting jealous only increases the chance of souring your relationship, so just relax and have a good time.
4. Be positive. Even though my first point was about being aware that there is a decent chance of it not working out, this doesn't mean you have to expect it. Be looking forward to all the great fun and time you are going to be spending at home. There is an expectancy effect associated with relationships: chances are if either or both of you expect it to fail, it's probably going to fail.
5. Most importantly, be faithful. You might be tempted by exes or others at home, but you need to restrain yourself. Try to remind yourself about why you're involved with this person in the first place and, if applicable, why you broke up with your ex. If you are feeling tempted, either restrain yourself or be honest and break up. It's not only the right thing to do, it's also best if at the beginning of school you want to get back together.
Editor's note: The Dr. Love column provides advice, but is meant primarily to provide entertainment.
1. Don't unnecessarily stretch it out. I've already covered this specific topic regarding long distance relationships, and summer dating is similar. If things really and truly aren't working, then at some point, resignation is needed. You can always get back together during the school year, but that tends to be harder if the break-up was stressful. Sometimes ending it is the best.
2. Keep in touch! If you can't have physical intimacy, at least you are able to talk over the phone. AIM and Facebook can provide similar means of communicating with each other, but nothing can replace the sound of your partner's voice and help bring you two closer than a phone call. While sometimes Facebook and AIM may be more convenient, it's usually worth the extra effort to make sure that you two talk on the phone at least semi-regularly over the summer. That being said, don't make it such a habit that either of you consider it a chore rather than something fun. It can also be fun to send each other gifts or care packages, even simple things can restore romance and help you both remember why you got together in the first place.
3. Respect each other's privacy. Summer can be a barrier to relationships, certainly, but it can also be a good time to get some space and perspective away from each other. Trying to talk to your partner all of the time isn't giving them the space they need when they have been away from home for a while. They may be seeing old friends, possibly exes, and having a good time with them. That doesn't take anything away from what you have; it just means you should be enjoying yourself with your old friends, too. Getting jealous only increases the chance of souring your relationship, so just relax and have a good time.
4. Be positive. Even though my first point was about being aware that there is a decent chance of it not working out, this doesn't mean you have to expect it. Be looking forward to all the great fun and time you are going to be spending at home. There is an expectancy effect associated with relationships: chances are if either or both of you expect it to fail, it's probably going to fail.
5. Most importantly, be faithful. You might be tempted by exes or others at home, but you need to restrain yourself. Try to remind yourself about why you're involved with this person in the first place and, if applicable, why you broke up with your ex. If you are feeling tempted, either restrain yourself or be honest and break up. It's not only the right thing to do, it's also best if at the beginning of school you want to get back together.
Editor's note: The Dr. Love column provides advice, but is meant primarily to provide entertainment.
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